reflections from within..

it's sunday.. it's may 27...
where HAS the year gone??

i reflect the last almost 3 months being here in vancouver..
the new life we have..the new friends we're making..the new
EVERYTHING..at times it's almost too much to take in.. at
other times i sit in awe and can't quite believer we're here,
doing this..living the dream..

my heart is full...full of lots to give..but my humanity and all
of life's experiences sometimes make it impossible to even THINK
about giving.. you know? all that to say.. i'm thankful.

thankful for so much that is in my life... so with that. i will start
to list what i'm thankful for..

my lover..that amidst the comings and goings of the last couple weeks,
we have "us"..that we talk..that we fight..that we push thru.. i'm so thankful
that we have each other.. i simply cannot imagine living this life, my life, our
life, with anyone but he. i'm thankful he loves me, inspite of myself, and all
that i bring, and dont bring to "us".. i am thankful that we are forever.

my son..so deep..so pensive..so cute.. so athletic..so sensitive. sigh..my little
man is almost "double digits" as he has pointed out.. wow. hard to believe.
his beliefs, his values..all being more and more evident and manifested in his
life. he will be a great man.. he will do great things.. he touch many..

my baby girl.. almost in full time school...how crazy to think.. seems like not
so long ago she was crawling around..now it's dressing up and giggling and
being girlie girl. she is god's gift to me.. she accesses all the little parts in me
that were maybe unable to come out as a young child.. and i watch her and
almost see myself in her in so many ways.. in ways i never was, but in ways
that i see now, and know what is in myself , just waiting to be free..

my life.. i often look back, and do the "shoulda coulda wishda".. what if i went to
school after grad? what if i lived somewhere else? what if i travelled there? what if
i , what if i, what if i? no i dont regret my life.. i look around me and watch many
and think, would i change anything, really? i lived abroad, i had babies naturally, i
spent a year in oregon, i lived in 3 provinces, i have moved almost 30 times, i have
met some of my best friends, i have experienced things in my life that have affected
me in such an incredible spiritual way, that i look back and go, no.. where i am today
is becuz of the choices i made yesterday, and what fun i had! what adventures did
i go on! would i trade that for security? for reasoning? for logic? nah.. :) call me
crazy, call me irresponsible..call me what you'd like.. but i have lived my life to the
fullest..and will not regret.

those are some of the things i'm thankful for today.. :) maybe i'll add some more another day..